


How the Batch (almost) stole Christmas

by SwimmingTiger



Category: Star Stable Online
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-15 02:26:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13021290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwimmingTiger/pseuds/SwimmingTiger
Summary: As per a request on tumblr....Starring Leoni Armstrong (a riding club mate), Santa Claus, Santa's little helpers... and that weird looking guy from the Marvel movies.





	How the Batch (almost) stole Christmas

The Winter Market, usually bustling and full of people chatting over coffee, trying on Holiday clothes, or racing around the ice- was quiet. Dead quiet. At least up on the landing deck. Leoni Armstrong didn't mind having the snowy wonderland all to herself. The snow was the one thing she missed about Detroit. Well, that and her parents (and sisters and little brother and cousins and three besties and Grandmama)... she missed them all terribly and had to work to fit in phone calls and face-timing. Concurrently, however, she was glad for the chance to be out of the city and working on her riding skills. Though she had won dozens of awards and ribbons at jumping events, she decided to put riding aside when she started high school. Her junior year was all about working towards getting accepted into a good college, and she had- three colleges accepted her for the next semester. All her top choices. She decided on a year of work-study overseas, and then USC – as it would undoubtedly have the best weather when it came to walking from class to class. Well, better than Michigan anyway. But for now...

She inhaled the piercing winter air, and thanked the creature that flew the sleigh here. Her Grandmama would have called it a demon, most certainly. Leoni might have thought that a year ago, but her months in Moorland broadened her views somewhat, with its druids and “energy” and underlying magic-that -nobody-really-ever-called-magic. The little … helper said something like “You're welcome” but it was more of a grunt. To her right, the gremlin in charge of the race was leaning against a pile of presents, sound asleep. Leo decided not to wake him, and lead her chestnut horse instead to the slippery slide down. She urged Lionheart, the stallion that was lent to her at Moorland, onward before he had time to protest. 

 _Weeeeeeeeee_! Suddenly she was six year old again, back in the suburbs north of Detroit, flying down the hill behind the golf course near where her cousins lived. She remembered being little and having the older cousins take the kids out sledding so the parents could wrap and hide gifts. The winter market had a way of bringing all those memories back with startling clarity...

“ _I'm not a_ SLED”. Lionheart reminded her, stamping off the snow packed around his hooves once they reached the bottom. She promised him an apple AND a peppermint later, and he seemed slightly more agreeable after that. Leoni circled the market once and took a quick peek into each shop to see if there was anything new. Nothing that didn't scream CHRISTMAS, and certainly nothing different from last week. She was sure that that one fashionable gnome would've whipped up something by now.

She headed over to the ice cave and there she _did_ find something new. The mannequins had.. a look to them. They were no longer carved from ice. Leoni leaned out of the cave to ask the helper at the doorway about them, but he had scooted off somewhere. The mannequins grinned absently and Leo tried to put her finger on why they were so... unsettling. They all looked similar - smooth peachy skin and pink cheeks like a dolls. Hair that looked like several wigs sewn into one. Layers and layers of clothes as if they were modeling all of this seasons fashions.. simultaneously. _It looks like when people morph a ton of faces together to get a “perfect” one._ She thought. _Whoever did it missed “perfect” by about 10 miles and ended right smack in the middle of the uncanny valley._ Leoni, not sure what to think about these monstrosities that made Santa's helpers look cute by comparison, started to back away from them. The snow crunching under her boot echoed off the walls of the cave.

“ _What the ..?”_ She hadn't meant to say it out loud but now eight pairs of glassy eyes were trained on her. “Ok. Nope. I'm out _...”_ She backed out of the cave at a quicker pace, and the mannequins, like perfectly synchronized robots, each raised their respective right hands in a thumbs up gesture.

Outside, she still didn't see any of the other stable girls. At first it didn't seem that strange... _Everyone's over in that Mistfall place_ , she thought to herself. But now even the helpers seem to have disappeared. She caught sight of a hat on the ground and bent to pull it up, but the helper that popped out of the ice like some sort of gnarled weed growled and waved her away, sinking back into the snow with a plop.

“ _Shoot. I'd hide from those devil mannequins too._ ” She admitted, wiping the snow off her mittens. After checking to make sure the mannequins hadn't moved (they hadn't) she got back on Lionheart and steered toward the frozen lake.

The helper on the ice was waving at her, and she hoped he could offer some explanation.

“Don't do stocking for market, just gifts. Speaking of ...” He asked Leoni for help collecting his scattered packages for the third time this week. She didn't mind at all. At this point, animated Yule goats were old hat. (Secretly she found it kinda fun).

She chased the wrapped “gifts” as they trotted about, laughing gayly every time Lionheart skidded across the slick surface, when suddenly something sounding very much like a sonic boom filled the air. Then there was ice flying, settling on everything, but it wasn't new fallen snow- it was ashy and acrid. Whatever crashed was either very large or very heavy. She scanned the trees for sight of smoke or something to indicate the point of impact, but all she could see was a faint blue glow.

“Probably just the aurora, right?” She tried to convince Lionheart, whose ears were twitching back and forth.

She told the elf on the ice that she would be back to help him with his packages and the little creature, squinting off in the distance, waved her away. “Check on Big Guy!” He shouted. Leoni gave him a thumbs up and then winced at the gesture.

She walked through the middle of the market, and up the little slope towards Santa's paddock. He wasn't standing in front of the little cottage that she had figured was his vacation home (she always imagined Santa as having swankier digs than a tiny one room cabin but you never knew).

“Santa?” She called. The light in the window was out. She reached over and tapped on the door. “Its Leoni? From Detroit? On the nice list since 2000?” No response. Lionheart, still worried but determined to stay with her, snuffled at some footprints, larger than the helpers and most of the girls staying at Moorland, leading around behind to the paddock. _He probably went to check on the boom, too.._. She walked Lionheart up the hill and noticed the snow here was gray and dirty... but if something bigger than a sleigh crashed, it was further up and out of sight.

She remembered, a week earlier, trying to see what was beyond the market (and maybe find a good place to make a snow angel that wasn't pocked with hoof prints and horse poop) but found the snowy wonderland was mostly surrounded by barbed wire. The un-fenced parts were hills too steep to climb safely. Though Leoni thought it odd, she had reasoned that Santa was keeping out arctic wolves or polar bears or something. She _had_ found a place beyond the wicked looking fence-  just a small patch of snow overlooking a steep cliff. There were a few foot prints, but no horse droppings, and with a spectacular view of the Northern Lights. Leoni had allowed herself to be overwhelmed by the sight, and- awestruck- she found herself tearful with joy. She then immediately took about a hundred pictures to send home to grandmama...

She remembered this for some reason as she approached a patch of downed barbed wire fence that was, for want of a better word, smushed flat. There was a rounded crater of ice that looked as if it were melted then frozen solid, around it. _Whatever landed here was spherical, burning hot, and took off as quickly as it came_? She guessed. A red blur to her right startled her til she realized it was Santa. He had been kicking snow onto burning pine-cones.

"Did you see it, Leoni?" Santa asked her, his voice authoritative but shaken. 

"I didn't see anything, just heard a boom."

"Yes... like the one last week." Santa was turning slowly, scanning the snow for irregularities. 

"What.... was it?" She asked.  

"If it's what I feared, we all may be in great danger." He frowned under his beard, peering at the broken fence and shaking his head slightly. 

"Was it the little helpers? They all seem to have disappeared." Leoni suggested, noticing there wasn't a single gnome in sight all of a sudden. 

Just then there was a deep chuckle that seem to come from the vicinity of the trees, or maybe the trees themselves. It was a mans voice, and Leoni twisted around on her saddle to look for a source, though no actual person could be seen. 

"Leoni, I need you to be a dear, and get all the rest of the girls back up to the landing pad and OUT of Christmas land. Quickly now. Do you hear me?" 

"I.. there aren't any other girls here. They're all back home trying to save the wolves or something. Also, maybe you shouldn't be alone right now?"

"Leoni my brave girl, I've been around for centuries. What may be lurking in the woods can't..." 

But both of them were cut short by a flash of blue. A sphere of light had appeared before them, shimmering in the moonlight and crackling like an electrical charge. Taller than Santa by several feet, it hovered above the snow, melting everything beneath it. The sphere set down closer to Santa, but Lionheart was still spooked and wanted to bolt. Leoni dismounted quickly and tried to calm him. She felt neither flight nor fight herself, only burning curiosity. _Was it aliens_? 

Then the sphere fell away, and a tall man, dressed in elaborate robes and a long red cape, hovered in its place. Santa's face twisted into grimace of angry recognition. And Leoni's one of shock. 

"Benedict Cumberbatch?" Leoni yelped, and Santa snarled. 

"Ah, my sweet Sinter Klaus. It has been an age, now, has it not?" The intruder smirked. 

"How in the Yule did you get here?" Santa demanded. 

Benedict Cumberbatch shrugged, coolly, and picked a piece of lint from his sleeve. "It's the most wonderful time of the year. Thought I would pay a visit. Pick up where we left off."

"You know him? Leoni whispered to Santa, who was stepping closer as if to protect her. The jolly old man was not jolly at all now. His anger was palpable. 

"Unfortunately." He said through gritted teeth. "And so do you..."

"Wait. You have movies in the North Pole?" Leoni was incredulous.

Santa nodded. "He was so moving in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy..." He shook his head sadly. "In person however... Well. Maybe _person_ is a poor choice of words." 

"Ah-hem" Benedict Cumberbatch politely cleared his throat, visibly peeved at being ignored. Though there was no wind in the Christmas market that day, his cape was whipping about him dramatically, as if it were offended on his behalf. 

"And.. why is 'person' a poor choice of words?" Leoni asked, clearly not caring that they were ignoring him. She'd always had a sneaking suspicion that the actor was not of this earth, and dying for Santa Claus (of all people) to validate this theory.

"AH HEM HEM" Benedict tried again, and a blast of blue flames made a circle around him, sending snow flying and his cape flapping in the breeze. 

"Oh yeah, you. What _are_ you doing here anyway?" Leona asked, faking a yawn. 

"Do not deign to address me, _elf_."

Leoni looked around and, finding only herself, Santa, and the floating man before her, squared up. 

"Who _you_ calling an elf, lookin' like you just stepped off of Mars? Does the prop department know you stole that costume?" 

Benedict Cumberbatch narrowed his cool blue eyes at the girl and took a step forward but Santa raised his mittened hand. "I know why you're here, Benny, and its not going to work this year." Santa stood a little straighter and stepped between the girl and the actor. 

Leoni snickered at "Benny" and brazenly stared back when he glared at her. He then composed himself and addressed Santa once more. 

"How are you enjoying the _help_ this year, Nick?" Benedict put his hand to his mouth and chuckled. His smile was cocky and self congratulatory but faded quickly when he realized Santa had no idea what he was talking about. "The help.. that I sent? To help with presents?" He tried. The older mans face was blank. 

Santa looked towards Leoni. "Leoni's been a huge help this year, what with the cookie catastrophe and the fashion fiasco... why just the other day she cleared the ice for.." 

"I DIDN'T SEND ... _HER_." Benedict shouted, causing little blue flames to spark from his hands and skitter towards the pine trees. Leoni took a small step back, pulling Lionheart, who was terrified but determined to not leave his girl, with her. Benedict sniffed and continued. "I am, of course, referring to the clones I sent." 

Santa's brow furrowed. He was completely lost by now. 

Benny sighed impatiently. "A clever plan, devised as per usual, by yours truly. I cloned the little whelps that have been swarming the Chr... " A look of disgust crossed his face and he coughed and tried again. "...The market. I sent them in through the gaps in the fence." He gestured at the downed fence behind him. "And any moment now, they will be wreaking havoc on your elves, and your sleighs, and the gifts." His grin widened and his eyes narrowed. He rubbed his hands and small flames emitted from his fingertips. "They will decimate every present they find and when they are through, will burn this place to the ground." He looked around at the tiny wood cabins. "Not that there's much to burn but... It will warm my hands at least." 

Santa peered at his old foe, still befuddled. "Benedict, I don't know what you're talking about, I..." 

"Hold up." Leoni interrupted. "You cloned the girls? That were here at the market?" 

"Aren't we a little slow on the uptake? _Yes_." Benedict said, dismissively. 

Realization dawned on Leoni. She snort-laughed, and then doubled over. "Oh Benny. Benny, your clone machine is _broken_. I've seen your girls. The only thing they're wreaking havoc on is Zingle's Fashion sense."

"What the bloody Hell is a Zingle? Who _are_ you?"

"Not a godda..." Santa whipped his head towards her in shock. She tried again. "Not a clone, that's for sure. But you can go see for yourself. They're in the Ice Cave." 

Benedicts nostrils flared. He looked from Santa to Leoni and back. "Is this some attempt .. to trap me? Do you take me for an idiot?" His hands, now glowing blue, were balled into fists. 

"I dunno, you were the one who did Zoolander 2." Leoni shrugged. She didn't have a plan but did want a moment with Santa to try and think of one. 

Benedict Cumberbatch was fuming. He made great rolling gestures with his hands and Leoni soon found herself up to her elbows in ice. Santa, who had lunged forward to protect her from the blast, was frozen up to his neck. Benedict stalked off to see the cave for himself, slipping a little in his shiny dress shoes. 

Santa whispered to Leoni, "Your horse? He is special, no?" 

Leoni turned her head to see that Lionheart had bounded to the left, and the blast had missed him entirely. He walked over and sniffed at the ice she was encased in, then tasted it. "Yeah he's _super_ special." She grumbled. 

"I know about your bond Leoni, and we don't have time. Ask him to go and fetch Honey, and tell him the time is nigh." Santa said, a little louder. Leoni turned to Lionheart. 

"You got that?" The horse nodded and headed off toward the woods where they first found the lean-to housing the creature who'd lost his Christmas spirit. "Now what the heck is all this about?"

"He's not really an actor. He's a legend..." Santa began. 

"Oh come on he's not  _that_ good. He's not even the best Sherlo..."

"Leoni, please. I'm referring to his ancestry." Santa lowered his voice. "You've heard of the Grinch?"

"He was in _that_? I thought that was Jim Carrey?" 

"Not the movie, the ... creature. The one who steals Christmas?" 

"Like Krampus?" Leoni tried.

"Oh, goodness no. Krampus is actually an associate of mine. A dear fellow, really. No no no, I'm referring to the _actual_ Grinch. A creature unlike any I've ever encountered. They get their strength from others misfortune and sadness. And the newest incarnation, I believe, is down in my ice cave hollering about..  something or other, my goodness what _language_."

They heard several energy blasts and the cracking of ice. To Leoni, it sounded like he was pulling the mannequins from where they were rooted to the ice, and throwing them around the cave.

"I do hope the clothes are all right. Now listen, my dear girl- don't you fret. I have a backup..."

But Santa was interrupted by crunching snow and approaching footsteps. Benedict cursed quietly as he slipped on the tightly packed snow. 

"Shoulda grabbed some snow boots in the ice cave, Benny. Your uh.. clones were modeling a whole bunch of them." 

"Silence you!" Benedict snapped. 

"I mean, you have to know that when you blast your little blue balls all over its gonna melt the ice and refreeze? Makes it all slippy so... that's on you, boo." Leoni shrugged as much as she was capable in her frozen prison.

Benedict stalked up to her and bent to point in her face. He grinned, showing miles of gleaming teeth. "How would you like to never celebrate this holiday ever again?" His voice was sing-song, like a scolding teacher. Leoni tilted her head to meet his gaze. 

"There's always Kwanzaa. How would _you_ like if I bit off that finger?"

At that Benedict turned and went back to his ice bowl, stepping slowly to avoid slippage. Slowly, he worked his magics so that he could hover once more before his captives. "Mein gut Herr Kringle did your elves go on strike that you are saddled with such an _insolent_ servant?" He shook a few snowflakes off his sleeves, feigning cool once more. "No matter. If I want to ruin this _ex_ -mas I shall just have to do it myself." He began making circular movements with his hands, slower this time. 

Leoni was about to make a comment  when she caught sight of something, or rather many somethings, stirring in the trees in her peripheral view. She shivered and shook her head and the movements disappeared. She thought she must be seeing things. Normally, the harsh winters cold did not bother her much, but being in a solid block of it was different. She felt as if the ice was ... malevolent. To her, the frigid cage was bringing up bad memories the way the lights and smells of the Christmas market elicited good ones. She saw very clearly, a winter ten years past. The whole family had gone sledding on the hill, and came back to find the house had been robbed. They'd taken every present, knocked down the tree and smashed the ornaments. The turkey had been set back under the broiler, and burnt to a crisp. Christmas was ...ruined. 

"That was _you_ , wasn't it?" Leoni demanded. "You came and took all the gifts. Even the stupid scarf I knitted for my dad. That was _you_." 

Benedict lowered his arms. The energy faded into whisps of snow. "Who else would it be?" He asked coldly. "Ruining Chri... Chris...  _festivities_ is what I do. It's what we've done for hundreds of years." 

"But you didn't!" Leoni said, defiantly. "We still sang carols. So we ate mac and cheese instead of turkey, it was still good! We didn't have gifts but we made clay ornaments to replace the ones that were broken. Grandmama still puts them on the tree." She straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin.  "We didn't let it get us down. It was still us. We were still together. It was still CHRISTMAS! You didn't ruin shi..." She peeked at Santa, whose eyes widened. "You didn't ruin _anything_. We were still a family, even without presents. You might call yourself a Grinch, but you're not a _good_ one." She lowered her voice a little. " _Just like you aren't even that good an actor_." She mumbled. 

Santa turned in disbelief. _She went there_.  

" _What_ did you say to me?" Offended, Benedict had lowered himself to the ground once more, but he didn't approach her. 

"Doesn't matter." Leona shrugged. 

"No, I think it does." The magician, red faced, insisted. Leoni made note of the fact that he was refusing to walk on the ice. 

"No, it really doesn't. I was just stalling." She smiled, looking past him into the Northern Lights. _They were a much better view anyway_. 

"Oh-ho. So you do have a plan." He grinned, with a glint in his ice blue eyes. He was ready for a fight. 

"Not me." She nodded behind him. " _Them_." 

Benedict chuckled, but did not turn around. "Again, you underestimate my intelligence. Do you really think I will fall for that." 

"I really don't Benny. But like I said..." She watched as hundreds of Santa's furry, horned "helpers" popped out of the snow behind Benedict. They moved swiftly, bounding towards each other and fusing as they met, each time, into a larger helper. They did this until they formed a helper that was over 8' tall and easily 4' wide. The "Helper", in its final form, licked the corners of its mouth with a tongue as long as Benedict Cumberbatchs arm. Drool glistened on his fangs. It was still wearing a Santa hat, dwarfed by horns that were probably as tall as Leoni. 

Leoni gulped. "like I said... it really. Doesn't. Matter." 

"Krampus!" Santa called through chattering teeth. "My good friend! How good it is to see you again!"

At this Benedict turned and, upon catching sight of the creature, tried to flee. He ran in place for several seconds on the solid ice and then slipped and fell on his side. Leoni would have laughed but for the sight of the hulking monstrosity before her. Krampus picked the fallen intruder up by his cape and addressed Santa. His voice was more grit and gravel than noise, and shook Leoni deeper than the cold. 

"IS THIS THE OFFERING." 

"Oh gracious, no. I think he's learned his lesson this year. Just, take him home. Ah but- perhaps give him a good lashing, first!" Santa's eyes crinkled into a smile as his winked at his friend. Krampus grabbed the flailing magician tightly about the middle, pinning his arms to his waist, and pointed at Leoni. 

"BAD?"

"No no, goodness no. A few naughty words aside, this is a friend. A _good_ friend." The ice that encased them had turned to steam, and Santa rushed forward to catch Leoni as she sunk to her knees, quaking from cold and fear of being an offering to the.. thing. But before he could reach her, Lionheart had rushed out of nowhere to stand between her and the giant. His ears were pinned back and Leoni felt his terror, but also that he was intent on protecting her. She grabbed onto the stirrup and pulled herself up. 

"It's ok, baby. My good boy. Shhh" Trying to soothe him, she patted his neck and hugged him. But the stallion was staring up at Krampus blank glassy eyes. Leoni saw him gesture towards the horse and raise its spiked eyebrows at Santa.

"NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM EITHER!" She shouted at Krampus. His face twisted into a pout. 

"Krampy, my pal, I just had five hundred pounds of fine Kobe beef shipped to your cabin! How silly of me to forget I'd invited you here this Christmas. Well, I suppose you've done enough. You can head on home, now." He waved his hand at Benedict, who had fainted and was hanging limp from Krampus' claw. "And take that with you. Thanks again!" Santa waved at the creature bounded off over the trees. To Leoni's surprise, he pulled off his mitten, and withdrew a cell phone from his coat pocket and began texting. 

Leoni climbed onto Lionheart. "Santa?"

"Yes, my dear?" Not taking his eyes from the smartphone. 

"You remember that thing I asked for when I was like 12 and never got it.. Supposedly cause we didn't have room?" 

Santa smiled at her. 

"He didn't..." 

Santas smile faded. "Oh no, dear. It just wasn't feasible that year." He said, sadly. 

"And the other guy...?" 

"No, no. He went vegetarian for a while but now we have an agreement and he only eats naughty... " 

Leona closed her eyes and held up her hand. "Don't need to know." 

"Beef. Sorry. I didn't mean to tease."

"Ok well... I'll tell the other girls you're probably gonna need a lot of help now." 

"Oh, you sweet child. I've got it covered." He smiled and hit send on his text message. "You just get home and get some rest. Check under your tree when you get back!" 

Leoni managed a weak smile, as she turned and headed up the ramp to the landing pad. At the top, sleighs were landing and tiny tanned (and some sunburned) men in little green coats popped out. They were grumbling about "vacation being cut short" but smiled when Leoni approached. One popped into the sleigh and asked "Where too?"

"Moorland. Please. As close to the stable as you can." Leoni mumbled. She fell asleep on the ride home. 

***

The next day, she awoke to the sound of a gentle tapping on the stable door. She'd fallen asleep on a pile of hay next to Lionhearts stall, and someone had thrown a heavy knit blanket over her. Emerging from her cozy nest, she stood and stretched, and scratched the horse under his blonde mane before answering the door. 

Mr. Moorland stood, with a Santa hat replacing his usual tweed cap, at the entrance. "Mornin! Jenna said you got in late, and were passed out in here, you funny thing. Thought I'd check on you." 

"Yeah.. long day yesterday. Everything ok?" Leoni asked, rubbing her eyes. 

"Everything is great! Just came to deliver some good news." 

Minutes later Leoni stood in disbelief. Lionheart, for all his stubbornness, had grown on Leoni in the months that she'd been staying here on Jorvik. They'd assigned her to him because she had some riding experience, and he was temperamental and not suited for a beginner. Though it had taken some time to train him on jumping and get him into shape for events, she'd grown to love him. And after the happening in Christmas town she believed he felt the same way about her. She knew some of the girls here were offered the chance to buy the horses at Moorland stables, and she had been saving every Jorvik shilling so that maybe she could do the same. But now she didn't have to. 

She looked down at the paper that turned ownership of Lionheart over to one Leoni Armstrong. 

"Well boy. I know you aren't a fan of the snow." She kissed his velvety nose and he head-butted her playfully. "But you're gonna love California!" 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 


End file.
